Last night was the first night I have felt grounded in a very long time. I stood on my yoga map and insane. Then I exhaled. And I repeated for an unknown amount of time. If I could guess, it was about fifteen minutes.
I am almost positive other people who saw me on my roof just standing there could imagine a myriad of explanations as to why I was standing there. Stark. With my eyes closed. But last night my feet really felt grounded. Last night the feeling of the mat beneath me was comforting. For the first time in a while— I felt at home. And it felt good. Wherever I go, I always bring a yoga mat. My yoga mat. It’s old and purple and from an ex-boyfriend that existed too many years ago to count. But like my practice of yoga, I use that mat every day and it holds a dear place in my heart. As I get ready to travel again I was thinking about getting a new mat. Now a days Lululemon has folding mats for traveling. I am, however, not sure that it will be the same. At all. The weird texture of my mat is like nothing else. It is rubberized, but with little waffle indentations. I am not sure how else to describe it. It smells like sweat and feet and dirt. It has scuffs from my falls or a time when i dug into it with my fingernails because I. Was. Just. So. Mad. But it’s awesome. I love that it is plain and it is mine and that no one else wants it (if I were anyone else, I would not want it). I don’t think I have been on this earth long enough to have anything else that really brings me personal sentimental value. Something that I have had since it’s beginning. A rough beginning because I am almost positive my ex-boyfriend and I broke up very soon after the gifting of this mat, but the beautiful thing is I don’t care. I want all of the memories associated with it. The good and the bad. I think as a young person it is important to feel a connection like this. Not to be materialistic, but to appreciate something because of the memories associated with it. it is definitely part of growing up. The longer I have my mat, the more I grow to appreciate it. Last night was a good night. I got to watch the sunset while I saw in silent awe of the temporary home I have had in Baltimore. As much as I love it, I know I will have to let it go soon. I think I am okay with it. New chapters are exciting.
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Author: Allyson DitizioGeographer, yogi and occasionally creative writer. Archives
September 2016
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